Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
