I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
