I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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