4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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