question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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