Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
