saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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