Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
