She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
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Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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