She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
