i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
