Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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