69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize