I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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