office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
