Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I wear drunk well.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
