Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
