I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
