Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize