I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
