Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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