Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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