When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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