it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
