This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
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I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
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I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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