two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
