You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize