how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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