dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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