I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
