Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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