Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
