I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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