There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
