Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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