So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Princesses don't give blow jobs
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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