Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I am one with the molecules
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I had to cum in my sink.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
