i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
