Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
So squirting runs in the family.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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