genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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