I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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