You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
When are your genitals available?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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