What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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