THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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