I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize