dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
high people should be assigned attendants
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
