i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
