you guys were way drunker than both of me
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
