If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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