They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
