why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
