I wish you could order shots online.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
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