Jerry, you need to find god
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
then he tried to convert me to islam
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Randomize
