With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
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