omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I won't apologize to a one balled man
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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