Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
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