My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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