I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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