well I can't set my house on fire every night
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
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We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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