I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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