i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I AM VODKA MAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
BRING THE BAGELS
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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