I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Randomize
