did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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