I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Ketchup is God's man juice
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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